Good Santa

Posted on September 9, 2007

Santa Claus is getting serious. His summer workshop is thin on toys but stocking-stuffed with legislation and government reports. Yes, Virginia, Santa is a policy wonk. But considering Mr. Claus’ career before donning “the uniform” it isn’t so surprising. Mr. Claus, who legally changed his name to Santa Claus a few years ago, was Director of the Terrorism Research and Communications Center, served as Assistant Deputy Police Commissioner for the New York City Police Department, and as a law enforcement administrator in the Virgin Islands. Long story short: If Rudolf’s nose is red for any of the wrong reasons, we have a problem.

But closest to Santa’s heart is children. From his home in a Lake Tahoe church (this Santa is also a monk) Santa is spearheading a national push to put children’s issues back on the political radar. Mr. Claus recently finished a 50 state “Bless the Children” tour, where he met with governors and lawmakers to discuss the plight of millions of America’s poorest and most vulnerable kids. The country’s methamphetamine epidemic, Santa says, has led to thousands more being taken into foster care. Child suicides are on the rise and child obesity is epidemic. It sounds like a job for Superman but this Santa says he’s up for the challenge.

WJ: So we hear you’ve got a gig for the other 11 months.

I do. My work is helping the 2 million children across the United States who are abused, neglected, exploited, abandoned, homeless or institutionalized. That represents one out of every 37 children in America. I’m also very concerned about the 400,000 American children who are already in the foster care system. More than 100,000 are ready to be adopted right now—if anyone was there to.

WJ: C’mon. Angelina Jolie can’t adopt everybody.

Ho, ho, ho. True. (Editors note: Santa didn’t actually say “Ho, ho, ho” but we think it adds something.) It’s wonderful when anybody is willing to step up and adopt. But considering that we have 114,000 ready for adoption in the United States, it’s a concern when a quarter of that figure is annual adoptions from overseas. By adopting American kids, we can take a lot of pressure off of our social services system.

WJ: You sound like you’ve become quite the policy expert. Mr. Claus Goes to Washington?

I view myself as a children’s advocate. A state will sometimes have legislation that’s worth moving forward, but their boss isn’t willing to do it. And occasionally a voice from the outside—particularly Santa Claus—can help move legislation through.

WJ: Okay, so “SANTA-PAC” is calling a governor’s office. How do you get his staff to (a) believe you exist and (b) put you on the calendar?

I say, “Hi, this is Santa Claus, calling to brighten up your day.” They pause and I continue explaining the work that I’m doing. My name recognition is higher than just about anybody in the world—except for Mohammad.

WJ: And possibly McLovin. Are the governors naughty or nice?

I’d say about five percent of the time there’s a non-productive response. The worst response I got by far was from Governor Mike Huckabee’s office in Arkansas.

WJ: Isn’t he one of the presidential candidates?

Yes. When I finally heard from his staff, they told me I wasn’t welcome to meet with Governor Huckabee. The governor’s a Baptist. I’m not a Baptist, and apparently the governor did not want to meet a Santa Claus of a different faith—even though the purpose of the meeting was to talk about children’s issues.

WJ: Huzzuh?

Governor Huckabee has done some good things for children, but personally speaking, that’s a person I wouldn’t want to see in Federal office. If he’ll discriminate at the state level, that isn’t someone I want in the White House.

WJ: We understand why you’d feel that way. So why did Santa leave the North Pole and move to Incline Village, Nevada? Did Washington revoke your most favored nation status?

Well, as you know the Arctic is melting and the reindeer are getting quite worried. But seriously, I’ve been living in Lake Tahoe off-and-on for 22 years and as I got older, I thought about where I wanted to settle. Tahoe has a wonderful environment, different seasons, a community of sorts, and the second largest Alpine lake in the world. It’s a beautiful place and the people are loving, supportive, good humored. The water’s cold but I have a little insulation.

WJ: Can I pull your beard?

Ho, ho, ho. (Editors note: He didn’t say it this time either.) I had one experience when a child—not meaning to—actually pulled out a clump of hair.

WJ: Ouch. So can I pull it?

No. Next question.

WJ: We heard you were active in the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

I was. FEMA called me to go to the Disaster Recovery Center in Dallas—where many of the evacuees were living. The children would run over and tell me how much better they felt because I knew where they were. One time, I heard a little voice saying, “Santa, Santa!” I thought it was a child, but I turned around and saw it was an elderly woman in a wheelchair. She said with the most beautiful smile, “Santa Claus. You come over here, boy. I been waiting 94 years to see your face!”

WJ: You must get a lot of that. So during the summer, when Santa’s walking around town in a pair of Bermuda shorts and a Kanga cap, what’s the reaction of people vacationing in the area?

When I’m out and about, it’s usually children whispering, “Oh, there’s Santa.” When I hear them, I’ll turn around and say hello. Sometimes they’ll ask about presents. Other times they’re surprised to see Santa on summer vacation. Occasionally, they even want to pray with me. If they ask about presents, I’ll usually ask them what they’re going to give someone else? If they say they don’t have money, I remind them that the most precious gift of all is love. It’s a nice way to do a little bit of ministry and be responsive.

WJ: And the older kids? You know, the thirty year olds.

The older ones ask a lot more questions. Where’s your sleigh? Where’s Mrs. Claus? When one asked why Rudolf’s nose burned so bright, I tried to broach the subject of friction.

For more information on Santa Claus’ efforts to help children, visit his website www.santaslink.net. Santa also has a new diet book (he’s lost 50 pounds) which is available at www.thesantadiet.com. All proceeds go to Santa’s children work.

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